DEAR ABBY: Our 24-year-old son was killed recently in an auto accident. We had long dreaded that his life might end like this. He had a history of many traffic tickets and a terrible driving record. He had totaled three vehicles in the last three years. The wreck that killed him was his fourth accident in three years.
We have discovered that our son's grandmother took out a large life insurance policy on him after the first accident. Thinking that his own grandmother would "bet" on his death has made our grief even harder to bear. At first, when we confronted her, she said she had taken out the policy to ensure his proper burial because we have no money. (My wife was diagnosed with cancer 3 1/2 years ago, and the treatment left us destitute.)
The policy is many times the cost of our son's funeral. When the funeral director asked my wife and me in the presence of other relatives (including his grandmother), if there was a life insurance policy to defray the expenses, I turned and looked at her. She didn't utter a word! We borrowed the money from my wife's brother.
We don't want a penny of this "blood money" for ourselves or our son's burial. But now our son's grandmother is acting very hostile to us. We feel she saw our son's bad driving record and thought she had a chance to profit from his death. Are we wrong? -- BROKENHEARTED PARENTS IN TEXAS
DEAR BROKENHEARTED: You have my sympathy not only for the loss of your son, but also the loss of your illusions about his grandmother. People who feel guilty often act hostile. Unless there is something you failed to mention in your letter, it appears you have assessed the grandmother's motives correctly.