DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old woman who has been dating a man I'll call "Paul" for almost a year. I love him and he says he loves me, but sometimes I have a hard time trusting him.
Women call him here at my apartment at 4 a.m. They also leave messages on my answering machine inviting him over for dinner. Paul won't call them back if I am around. He says they're "just friends," but then he tells me he doesn't know how they got my phone number. (It's unlisted.) He swears he hasn't talked to any of them in more than a year.
Am I just being insecure? If so, how does someone deal with these feelings of jealousy? Should I believe him and take the chance of drowning, or get out now and go on with my life without him? -- SINK OR SWIM IN ARKANSAS
DEAR SINK OR SWIM: It appears you have fallen in love with a womanizer who has been giving out your private number. If these women were "just friends," Paul would return the calls while you were present and inform them that he's already involved with someone.
What you call your insecurity and jealousy are your survival instincts trying to warn you that he is not on the level. You won't have to worry about sinking or swimming if you climb out of the water now. I've thrown you a lifeline. Please take it.