DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old female and have recently realized that I am gay. I came out to my parents about a year ago, and they were loving and accepting. It wasn't a problem.
My problem is I am not ready to tell any of my close friends. I am waiting until college to come out. However, because I haven't come out, I still get a lot of male attention. I'm worried that constantly rejecting all guys will give my secret away. Thus, I am in a relationship with a boyfriend I do not love.
I know it's not fair to lie to him and pretend that I love him. I don't want to break his heart. I have already ended past relationships for "no reason" and have had to think up reasons to give to my friends. (Even my best friends have no idea, and I feel guilty about it.) I don't think I can lie one more time about its being the boy's fault, because each guy I have dated has been perfectly sweet.
My relationship with my current boyfriend is becoming quite serious, and though I like him as a friend, I'm not ready for the sex that we're beginning to talk about. I want out, but I'm not ready to COME out.
Please help me. I have never had a more confusing dilemma. -- IN THE CLOSET IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR IN THE CLOSET: You are under no obligation to disclose your sexual orientation until you are ready. However, it's time to stop lying to the young man you are dating. All you need to say is that you have decided not to have a serious relationship until you are in college. It is the truth, and you do not have to elaborate.