DEAR ABBY: I am at my wit's end with my husband, and I don't know what to do. It seems like lately he is finding fault with my kids over stupid stuff -- especially my soon-to-be 13-year-old son.
Mind you, my husband is not abusive -- but lately, every time my son forgets to do something, he threatens that he is going to kill him, yells that he's no longer my son's father until he straightens up, and on one occasion, he slammed my son into a wall.
I'm scared to death. I don't want my kids hurt (I have a 9-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter as well), and I love my husband dearly, but I can't take this much longer. He has never acted this way before. So what could be the problem? -- TRYING TO UNDERSTAND IN MICHIGAN
DEAR TRYING TO UNDERSTAND: Your husband may be depressed, using drugs, stressed out at work or mentally ill. I don't blame you for being seriously concerned, because whatever the cause, he is losing control. You say he "isn't abusive," and yet the incidents you have described concerning your 13-year-old are examples of verbal and physical abuse.
The best advice I can offer you is to get your husband to a doctor for a thorough examination -- and a referral to a psychotherapist for evaluation. Because his change in behavior is recent, he could be in trouble.