DEAR ABBY: I am the youngest of four children. My eldest brother died when he was an infant. But in our family it is like he never existed. My father always describes us as his three children, but my mother will talk about him a little.
Is it something I can mention when asked, "Do you have any siblings?" Can I mention my invisible brother? Should I say I am the youngest of four and leave it at that, or should I go with what my parents have always said -- the youngest of three? -- UNSURE IN BREMERTON, WASH.
DEAR UNSURE: It would be less confusing if you were to reply the way your parents do -- that you are the youngest of three children. When you get to know people better, to the point that you get to know their family history, you can then discuss the tragedy your parents faced when they lost their first child.
P.S. I am guessing that your parents do not discuss their firstborn because the subject is still painful.