DEAR ABBY: I married "Jake" -- a good man -- but I am very unhappy. We became engaged in late 2004 while my father was dying of cancer. We hoped to be married before Daddy passed away, but we were too late.
Jake wanted us to be married immediately, but after the funeral and my first holiday season with Daddy gone, setting a wedding date or being excited about marrying was far from my mind. Jake and I argued, and eventually I gave in. We eloped a few weeks later.
Abby, I'm having a hard time dealing with being married. I feel trapped and horrified at finding myself in this position. I'm upset that Jake pushed to get married so soon. He now says he was afraid I was going to leave him -- and I'm upset that I didn't have the strength to say no.
I'm seeing a counselor for help, but I'd really like to know what you have to say. -- MISERABLE IN L.A.
DEAR MISERABLE: I hope you will continue seeing your counselor because you need more help than "one dose" in an advice column. Your engagement took place at a time when the most significant male figure in your life was dying. Because of his own insecurities, Jake took advantage of the fact -- and of you. Your counselor can support you emotionally while you untangle yourself from this mess. Your problems didn't start overnight, and they will take a while to resolve.