DEAR ABBY: I run a small day-care business out of my house. I watch only the children of relatives or friends.
One of my friends wants me to start watching her young daughter, "Sierra," who will turn 6 this summer. The problem is Sierra is terrified of animals, large and small. We have a dog, three cats and a guinea pig. Sierra refuses to even get out of the car and stand in my yard. I think they should find day care elsewhere. They, however, keep insisting that Sierra will be "just fine" and that she understands that, come summer, she'll have to come to my house.
Abby, I think it's cruel and insensitive of them to expect Sierra to "get over it" just like that. I have asked them to start asking Sierra to get out of the car and slowly work her way up to coming in before summer starts, but they just laugh and shrug it off. Please help me make them understand without my having to come right down and refuse to take the child. I'm afraid I'll lose friends over this. -- "MARY POPPINS" IN KENTUCKY
DEAR MARY P.: I believe it was your namesake who coined the phrase, "A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down." Because your concerns are realistic, sweetly tell your friends that you have instituted an "entrance exam." Unless they can prove to you that their daughter can get out of the car, enter your house and interact with the other children, you cannot accept her. They are doing her -– and you -- a disservice by ignoring her animal phobia. Their child may need professional help to get over it. Say it with a smile, but for everyone's sake make the statement.
For the parents to pretend that their daughter's terror of animals will vanish with no intervention on anyone's part is not only unrealistic, it's unfair to their daughter, to you, and to the other children in your care. If they're unwilling to take action, they are not "friends." They are just poor parents who are trying to unload their problem onto you.