DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Elmer," and I care for his elderly mother and we rarely have time alone together. Ever since our mutual friend, "Stan," started working with Elmer, he has been at our house every weekend.
Last weekend, Elmer and I had planned a date -- just dinner and a movie -- but it was time we had planned to spend together. Stan decided that he wanted to spend the weekend with us, and he didn't like the movie we had chosen or the restaurant we had selected for dinner. He's the kind of person who, if you criticize him at all, will react in the most insulting way possible.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to come between Elmer and his best friend. -- THREE'S A CROWD IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR "CROWDED": You may not want to, but unless you and your husband assert yourselves, that's what his friend may do to you. It's not a criticism to inform Stan that you and Elmer have previous plans -- and frankly, the person to do it is your husband. Stan will take the news better if he hears it from Elmer anyway.