DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Anne," who is in her 40s. She has never married and has dutifully taken care of her mother, whom she loves very much.
Abby, Anne's mother is hypercritical, overbearing and unloving. She'll take her hairdresser's advice about her personal affairs rather than listen to the advice of her daughter, who only wants what's best for her mother.
Anne desperately wants her mother's love and approval, but I don't think her mother, who is now elderly, will ever change. Poor Anne will never be happy because she can't let go of wanting her mother's love and approval -- which is all she ever wanted but never received. She can't afford counseling and probably wouldn't go if she could. Is there anything I can do to help her? -- WORRIED FRIEND, HOT SPRINGS, ARK.
DEAR FRIEND: Unless your friend wakes up and recognizes that her relationship with her mother is repetitive and unfulfilling, there is nothing anyone can do. However, one day when she seems receptive, you might point out to her that the way her mother controls her is by withholding the very things that she needs and wants the most.