DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, I gave a bridal shower for our eldest granddaughter, "Liz," one month before her wedding. Two weeks later they canceled the wedding. Liz did not return the gifts, nor did she write thank-yous for them. I was embarrassed by her lack of courtesy and appreciation to those who participated, as well as to me. Liz is a college graduate. Her mother, our daughter, knows better -- but apparently was not able to influence her daughter's behavior.
Soon afterward, the local daily paper had a series of articles on the frequency of wedding cancellations. It specifically said that unused gifts were to be returned, and that thank-yous were to be sent.
Abby, if another wedding is planned, Liz may expect me to host another bridal shower and include these same relatives. I plan to tell her that I hope to give one shower to each of our eight grandchildren, if I can. Am I being unreasonable? -- DISTRESSED GRANDMA
DEAR GRANDMA: Your granddaughter may suffer from "great expectations," but that doesn't mean you have to comply. A bridal shower is a gift, and you are under no obligation to host another one. It's not "unreasonable" to draw the line, and that's what you should do. However, it's possible that you won't be asked because it might have such strong associations for your granddaughter with the wedding that fell through. (Cross your fingers!)