DEAR ABBY: I am a college student who is doing fairly well in school. I'm a good person who is on the right road to success. So why am I always falling for the wrong guys?
I get out of these bad relationships in time, but then I'm left with the pain and hurt they've given me. I can't seem to forgive myself for being so gullible, and this causes me to treat men -- even the good ones -- like they're all bad. What do you suggest I do, Abby? -- GULLIBLE SWEETHEART IN MACON, GA.
DEAR SWEETHEART: First of all, I recommend a "time-out" from men, during which you review those qualities that make your heart beat faster. Then ask yourself if you are holding men to higher standards than you would like to be judged. Too many women make the mistake of judging men by their looks, their athletic ability or their wallets -- and entirely overlook kind, sincere, intelligent and sensitive men who would make excellent "catches."
Having been beaten up emotionally time after time, no one can blame you for keeping your defenses up. However, not all men are abusive, self-involved, dishonest users -- and the price you pay for keeping up your guard can be walling yourself off emotionally. Remember, dating is a learning experience. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.