DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Trey," and I have been married a year and a half. Most of the time I am very happy. I say that because we do argue sometimes, which is normal.
Trey gets upset with me when I ask questions about the ex-lover he had before me. (I ask him about his intimacy with her and how she was.) I often ask these questions out of the blue. I just want to know because I become jealous.
I never had a man in my life before. My husband was my first man ever, but I don't feel that "special" anymore because his ex was a virgin, too, and gave him her all as I did on our wedding night. I just don't feel like I gave him anything that special when someone before me already did. In other words, I wanted to be the first virgin he ever had. How can I get past this? -- UNSATISFIED IN SPRINGFIELD, VA.
DEAR UNSATISFIED: You gave your husband the one gift that nobody else could ever give him: You gave him yourself on your wedding night. Please be satisfied with that, and stop obsessing.
What you are looking for isn't information about another woman; it's really confirmation about your husband's feelings about you. Because you need reassurance, that is what you should be asking your husband for -- not information about a woman who wasn't able to earn his love regardless of how much she gave him.