DEAR ABBY: There is an annoying woman in my office who insists on telling people to "smile." It's ridiculous -- as if she expects people to go around with permanent grins on their faces for no reason. What is a good response to people who order you to "Smile!" out of the blue? -- NOT FROWNING IN ONTARIO
DEAR NOT FROWNING: I agree, it is obnoxious to be ordered to smile on cue. The next time it happens, look the offender in the eye and say, "I AM smiling. If you want to see a smile, look in a mirror. Now leave me alone. I have work to do."