DEAR ABBY: I am a newlywed. This is the second marriage for both of us. "Bart" and I are empty-nesters who both work full time. We did not live together before we were married and are now adjusting to our different ways of doing things.
A major issue we have is that the rule in my household has always been no phone calls after 10 p.m., while Bart has no problem with his parents and children calling late at night -- sometimes as late as 11:30.
I function well with eight to nine hours of sleep and try to be in bed by 10 or 10:15. Bart's alarm goes off at either 5:20 a.m. or 6:20 a.m., depending on his schedule during the week, and I can't always fall back to sleep. (I don't need to be up until 7:15.) Obviously, we can't change what time he has to get up, but he is "happy" to speak with his family whatever time they call, even though it wakes me up.
Neither of us wants to sleep in separate bedrooms. I love Bart and his family, but I have become a walking zombie. Any suggestions? -- SLEEP-DEPRIVED IN CLEVELAND
DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: Just this. When people marry, their lives do not go on just as before. Your husband, his children and his parents are ignoring that fact.
It is extremely important that people get an adequate amount of sleep in order for their minds and bodies to function properly. Therefore, your husband needs to establish some ground rules with his side of the family before their lack of consideration harms your health. Sleep deprivation can adversely affect a person's efficiency at work, one's safety behind the wheel, and compromise the immune system.
If your husband has a cell phone, perhaps he should consider setting it on "vibrate" so that if his family needs to talk to him late at night, they can reach him without waking you.