DEAR ABBY: I married the man of my dreams. We have a wonderful life together, and we just had a beautiful baby girl. My husband was married before and has two children from his first marriage. They are great to me -- in fact, they are great kids.
The problem is, I don't love them. I feel so guilty about it. I treat them really well and I'd do anything for them. But when it is "our" weekend, I dread going home. I am not like that with our daughter. I love her with all my heart.
Why do I feel this way, and how can I change this? I need some advice desperately. -- ASHAMED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ASHAMED: We don't love all people the same way, but that doesn't mean we don't have love for them. It is possible that on some level you resent your husband's children because they represent the intimacy he had with his first wife. But let me assure you that unless you are willing to work on those feelings, you will cause conflict and hurt in your household.
My advice is to discuss this with a therapist and work it through. And in the meantime, work extra hard at being a loving and caring friend to those kids. Because when all is said and done, you're not their mother, and that's all you ever can be.