DEAR ABBY: I was widowed two years ago, and I recently attended the wedding of my granddaughter. At the reception, the usual protocol took place -- including the bride tossing her bouquet over her shoulder.
When the announcement was made, I got up from the table to join the other single women, and my daughter-in-law (not the mother of the bride) motioned to me to come to her table. She was frowning and shaking her head "no."
I went over, and she told me in a scolding tone that it was "inappropriate" for me to join the younger women because I was actually considered a widow and not "single." She also told me that catching the bouquet was intended for people who had never been married, not people like me.
Abby, I am 65, young at heart, and attractive enough that people tell me I appear to be in my early 50s. I lead an active life, and date and square dance two or three times a week. I didn't join the others, but retreated back to my table.
What is your take on this? Was she right that I wasn't eligible? I certainly feel as though I'm single. And I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. -- TEXAS WIDOW
DEAR WIDOW: You had as much right as any of the other spouseless females to join the bouquet toss if you wished. Putting the best possible face on it, your daughter-in-law may have been concerned that you'd be injured by the younger, ostensibly more agile, women vying for the flowers. However, if she was really concerned about what was appropriate behavior, she would have realized that by preventing you from fully enjoying the celebration, she was committing a far worse breach of etiquette than anything you might have done.