DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Neil" for two years. It has been an emotional roller-coaster, mostly because we live 500 miles apart and can't afford to visit each other regularly.
My problem is Neil is still in possession of the bridal gown that belonged to his former fiancee. They broke up more than five years ago. She has since married and gone on with her life.
Last March, I finally felt I had a right to ask him to dispose of it, but he still has it. He tells me he is "trying" to get rid of it, but I have seen no real effort. (He said he has offered it for sale, but has had no takers.)
I just want it gone! Neil feels I'm overreacting. He insists he wants the money back that he spent on it. I say no one will pay what he originally paid, and he should cut his losses. I even offered to buy it and donate it to charity. All I got was a smile and, "I'll think about it."
Abby, I feel Neil is holding on to a past that's not there. I know he loves me and not her. But I'd feel better if that "reminder" was gone already. Am I wrong? -- DESPERATE GIRLFRIEND
DEAR DESPERATE: If I were you, I'd drop the subject for now because you are needlessly turning this into a power struggle. You might succeed in bullying him into getting rid of this sad memento, but what I think you really resent is the emotional investment it represents. Please believe me when I tell you that the more you nag, the further you'll drive him away -- and I don't mean geographically. If and when the romance moves to the next level -- a formal engagement or marriage -- ask him to "store" the dress elsewhere if it means too much to get rid of.