DEAR ABBY: One of my husband's friends gave me a "white elephant" gift this week. To be specific, it was more like a pink pig gift. That's right -- I got a fuzzy pink pig that snores and says something about eating slop. My husband was given a beautiful leather wallet!
He says I'm being paranoid to think his friend gave me the pig to make fun of me. He says his friend is a prankster, not a critic. I say, how would he like it if we gave his girlfriend a stuffed pig? What do you think about this, Abby? -- FRAN IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FRAN: I think that if ever a gift begged to be re-gifted, it's your fuzzy pink pig. Next Christmas, wrap it beautifully and return it to the prankster. Be sure to include a small container of Pepto-Bismol. It's pink, so it will coordinate nicely. Perhaps it will neutralize some of the acid in the man's sense of humor.