DEAR ABBY: A couple of months ago, I got a call from an ex-boyfriend's attorney informing me that he had passed away. He said that I'd been left something in "Luke's" will, and told me the date, time and place of the reading. A close friend and I attended.
I was flabbergasted to learn that Luke had left me a ring that had been in his family for years. At the reading, I also found out that he had married and had two sons and a daughter.
My problem: Luke and I dated back when I was 18 and very immature. (I am now 32.) I knew at the time that Luke was head over heels about me, but I was not at all serious about him -- and I let him know it from the beginning. Our relationship ended badly.
I don't believe I deserve this ring. I talked it over with a couple of friends. One says I should keep it because Luke wanted me to have it. Another thinks it would be a good idea to give it to his wife. But she was extremely offended that he left me the ring in the first place. What do you think about this, Abby? And if I do decide to give her the ring, what is the most considerate way to do it? -- UNDESERVING IN ARKANSAS
DEAR UNDESERVING: It would be interesting to know what was going on in your ex-boyfriend's mind when he decided that the ring should go to you. It appears that you always had a piece of his heart that he was never able to reclaim.
Because the item inspires guilt in you instead of pleasure, it might be better if it remains in Luke's family. Feeling as she does about the situation, his wife may not want the ring for herself. However, it would be gracious to offer it back, explaining that because it's a family heirloom, his daughter might like to have it when she's grown.