To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
DEAR ABBY: Last year, my husband's pet rabbit, "Blossom," died. My husband -- I'll call him "Edwin" -- went into the back yard to feed Blossom one morning and found her lying dead in her cage. He gave Blossom a little funeral and buried her in our yard.
Later that day, our neighbor's dog dug up the rabbit. When the neighbor came home for lunch, he found the little body on his doorstep. Thinking his dog had killed Blossom, he panicked. He ran out, bought another rabbit that looked just like Blossom, and placed her in our cage.
When Edwin returned from work that night, he was stunned to find the rabbit sitting in its cage munching a carrot. He rushed over to Blossom's grave and, of course, found it empty. Edwin immediately concluded that a miracle had occurred -- Blossom had returned from the dead.
Ever since, my husband has treated the rabbit like a little deity. He built an altar for her and puts flowers on it every day. He sits in front of her cage in the lotus position and talks to her. When I come around, he stops talking until I leave.
The neighbors have since moved, but last week I ran into the wife and she told me the story I have related to you. Thinking it might help Edwin, I repeated the story to him. He became irate and accused me of trying to ruin the only miraculous thing that had ever happened to him. (His mother had a spider that danced to Chopin etudes, so wackiness runs in the family.)
Should I insist that Edwin seek counseling, or should I continue to live with this? I really don't know where it will end. -- AT MY WIT'S END
DEAR WIT'S END: You may not, but I do. It's going to end here and now. According to snopes.com, your rabbit tale is an urban legend, and so old it has whiskers. In January 1989, Johnny Carson (that king of wit!) related it as an event that had happened to a neighbor. In June 2000, a guest told it to Jay Leno. In July 2000, William Shatner repeated the story, claiming it had happened to his co-author. It turned up again in 2001 on the Chris Isaak show. Thank you for sharing it with me. It's still a thigh-slapper.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I disagree about where to park when you visit someone. He says you park on the street, always. I say that if I am visiting someone, I should park in their driveway. He says that is rude. Who is correct? -- GINNY IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR GINNY: Since you and your husband can't agree, call the person you are about to visit and ask where it's most convenient for you to park. That way you will avoid an argument and inconvenience no one.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 3 1/2 years, and during that time I have begged him to stop playing "telephone games" with me when he calls me -- especially at work. He will either disguise his voice, or speak to me so low that I can't understand him. Every time I answer with the standard "Hello," he'll respond with "Hello," and this goes on for a few seconds back and forth. It drives me crazy.
How can I get through to him, loud and clear, once and for all, that this irritates me no end? -- TIRED OF PLAYING GAMES IN FORT WORTH
DEAR TIRED: One effective way to send a message is through silence. If the caller does not respond properly after the first "hello," hang up the phone.
THOSE LOOKING FOR NEW LOVE MUST GET OUT THERE AND MIX
DEAR ABBY: "Lonely in Georgia," the woman who divorced her cheating spouse eight years ago, wrote that she's miserably lonely. I know how she feels.
I was widowed four years ago, and when I was ready to date, it seemed impossible to find "Miss Right." By a stroke of good fortune, I discovered an online dating service that matched me with people with shared personality traits and interests.
My first date was with a lady with whom I immediately felt comfortable. We have been seeing each other for six months, are engaged, and intend to be married soon. I hope "Lonely" finds this helpful. -- "EUREKA" IN ARIZONA
DEAR "EUREKA": Congratulations to you both. Very few people are lucky enough to strike platinum on the first try. I wish you every happiness. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I was divorced at 44, and decided to finally do something I'd always wanted to try: country-western dancing. I went not knowing anyone. When a gentleman asked me to dance, he didn't mind that I was a novice. He led me through the basics. He also mentioned free lessons offered by the establishment, and I decided to go. I soon got to know the regulars (even experienced dancers took lessons). Eventually, I met the man who would become my husband. We have been married three years, and I have never been happier. -- HAPPILY PARTNERED AGAIN
DEAR HAPPILY PARTNERED: I have often said that if you want to meet new people, get involved in a new activity. My longtime personal assistant, Olivia, also met the man of her dreams, Richard, while square dancing -- and I agree that it can be fertile territory for romance.
DEAR ABBY: I, too, divorced a cheating spouse. "Lonely" should consider talking to a therapist to help her regain her self-esteem. After I did it, I focused on attending events and functions where I could meet the kind of man I was interested in. I chose museum and gallery exhibitions and the theater, and went with girlfriends. I met a wonderful man at a group for over-35 singles. "Lonely" should get out and enjoy herself. I'm sure she'll find the person she's looking for. -- BEEN THROUGH IT IN GEORGIA
DEAR BEEN THROUGH IT: No one ever met anyone by sitting at home and brooding. The most important thing is to put yourself out there.
DEAR ABBY: My engagement went sour, an abusive relationship followed, and so did many disappointing dates. I decided to stop looking for a man and focus on things in life that truly made me happy. I began substitute teaching and mentoring high school students. It was then that the man of my dreams walked into my life. We married a year ago and are having the time of our lives. Please tell "Lonely" not to give up. Men are attracted to women who are happy and self-fulfilled. -- MARRIED AND STILL GETTING OFFERS
DEAR MARRIED: Right you are! As my mother often used to say, "Happiness is the best cosmetic." And so is a positive outlook. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I was divorced for 16 years before I met Mr. Right four years ago. All it took was living and enjoying what I had instead of worrying about what I was missing. Most men and women over the age of 40 recognize the signs of someone "on the hunt." It is a huge turnoff. -- HAPPY IN FALLON, NEV.
DEAR HAPPY: I agree. And that is why I advise people to involve themselves in activities where they can improve their community. There are many ways to do it -- work for their political party, as a hospital volunteer, Habitat for Humanity. Even if they don't fall in love, they can make some wonderful friends and make a difference.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Godmother Fears Abusive Mom Is Turning Son Into a Monster
DEAR ABBY: I am a 60-year-old woman. My children are grown and I have four grandchildren. I also have a godchild named "Noah," whom I adore.
Noah's mother, "Fay," didn't want him when he was born, but was talked out of giving him up by her mother and me. Her mother has since passed away.
Abby, I thought Fay would get over it, but she still doesn't want Noah. She blames him for taking her freedom away. The child is only 5 and adores his mother. No matter what she does, Noah loves her.
Fay is abusive. She yells and screams at Noah, calls him stupid and other names, keeps him in his room most of the time, and palms him off on anyone who will take him for a weekend.
This is not a happy little boy. He has so much anger in him at such an early age. Fay was abused by her mother like she's doing to her son. I have tried to get her help, but she says there's nothing wrong with her. How can I make Fay see that she's turning Noah into a monster? The father took off as soon as he found out Fay was pregnant. He has never seen his son. Please advise me. -- OUT OF MY MIND IN TEXAS
DEAR OUT OF MY MIND: Since you are Noah's godmother and there is nobody else, it is now your turn to step up to the plate. You are responsible for the fact that this unfit mother didn't place her unwanted child for adoption at birth. You are only 60 -- you're not over the hill. Why don't YOU take Noah in and give him the love and support he needs -- and possibly psychological counseling to undo the damage that has been done?
I think you already know what needs to be done. If you are unwilling or unable to do it, then pick up the phone and report Noah's mother to child protective services.
DEAR ABBY: I recently learned that my twin sister, "Leslie," is pregnant. When I heard the news, I told her I wanted to throw her a baby shower. I have two little ones of my own, and my twin hosted my baby shower when I was pregnant with my first. Leslie was excited and gave me a thumbs up.
Today I was told that an aunt on her husband's side wants to give her a shower, and it sounds as if that's the way it's going to be. This aunt has always been bossy and pushy, and Leslie and her husband are afraid to refuse. I don't expect my twin to offend the other side of the family, but what about me? Am I being petty? My feelings are hurt. -- REJECTED TWIN
DEAR TWIN: Please stop feeling hurt. Rather than being bossy or pushy, the aunt may instead be a stickler for proper etiquette. According to "Emily Post's Etiquette" (16th Edition): "Mothers and sisters of the mother-to-be should not give a shower, although sisters-in-law, close friends, aunts or cousins may. Naturally, mothers and sisters should be invited, but, as with any other gift-giving event, they should not initiate an invitation that bears an obligation on the part of the recipient to provide a present to a direct relative."
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)