DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother with two daughters, 2 and 4. I love them with all my heart, but I'm afraid my yelling is affecting them. I can't control it, and when I do it, I frighten them. They cover their bodies and start to cry. I have never hit either of them.
This is causing huge fights with their father. He is very involved with them, and he sometimes yells but they don't react the same way.
I feel like a bad mother and monster. What can I do to stop myself from losing my temper and have a better relationship with my daughters? I'm afraid I'll hurt them. -- FEARFUL IN MINNESOTA
DEAR FEARFUL: The first thing you must do is get to the bottom of what's triggering your anger. Is this how you were treated as a child? If so, you should know firsthand how damaging verbal abuse can be. Are your expectations of your little ones unrealistic? If that's the case, parenting classes could be helpful. Many school districts and hospitals offer them.
In the meantime, when you feel you're about to blow your stack, leave the room. If necessary, go outside for a few minutes. Count to 10 -- slowly. Decompress. Get a grip. Once you have calmed down, you'll be better able to act in an adult and rational manner, rather than react.