DEAR ABBY: When I was in high school, I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend of 18 months. It took me many years to forgive him. However, I don't think I ever forgave myself.
Now that I am in college, I can't bring myself to date. Every time I am asked out, I use any and all excuses I can come up with. It terrifies me that someone will betray my trust again. If a guy shows the slightest interest, I run away and cut off contact until he stops. I have never told anyone about what happened in high school because I thought they would blame me. Please help me -- I'm so confused. -- ASHAMED AND AFRAID IN COLORADO
DEAR ASHAMED AND AFRAID: I'm sad to say that rape is one of the most underreported crimes, and for the very reason that stopped you -- the victim fears that she (or he) was somehow to blame. The victim is never to blame! The quickest way to start the healing process and move forward with your life would be to arrange to talk to a mental health professional at the student health center. Do not put it off. The time to deal with this is now, while help is close at hand. No one will blame you. Please trust me and make the call NOW.