DEAR ABBY: I recently relocated to live near my son, "Gary," and his girlfriend, "Gina." Gary supports Gina and her three children, and talks constantly about marrying her and adopting the kids. Gary believes that Gina will marry him one day, but she has confided to me that once she finishes college and starts her career, she does not see herself married to my son.
I'm torn between telling Gary the truth and hurting him (not to mention damaging our relationship), or letting him find out in two years that he has been seriously used. -- TORN MOM IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TORN: Talk to Gina and urge her to level with your son. If she refuses, then you must do it. If he finds out in two years that you knew all along that he was being used and said nothing, it will be more damaging to your relationship than if you tell him the truth now. He won't like hearing it, but you must tell him what Gina told you. If he were my son, I would.