DEAR ABBY: Please advise other divorcees and me about proper funeral etiquette. Because I initiated the divorce from my ex-husband, my former in-laws no longer speak to me. Both of them are in failing health, so I am wondering if I should attend their funerals for the sake of my children, or stay away. I am willing to endure an awkward, hostile reception to support my children if you think my attendance would be appropriate. -- WANTS TO DO THE RIGHT THING
DEAR WANTS: Funerals are for the living -- in this case that means your former husband, your surviving former in-law and your children. Since you are persona non grata, it might be best if your children attended the funeral with their father. If they need you to be there, then sit in the back and remain as inconspicuous as possible.