DEAR ABBY: I am divorced and the father of two girls, ages 6 and 5. I am actively involved in their lives. My ex-wife, "Erin," is a teacher, so I pick the kids up from school and watch them until dinner every night.
Erin and I separated in 2001. She started dating the following July, and by August, my 6-year-old told me that Mom's "friend from high school" was sleeping in her bed and taking showers in the morning.
I was furious. I told Erin that what she did when I had the kids was her business. But when the kids were with her, her boyfriend should not spend the night. She told me her bedroom was no longer any of my business. The sleepovers continued, and in November, Erin informed me that her boyfriend had officially moved in. She claims that this is a loving and committed relationship -- but they have broken up twice that I know of in the past six months.
I am legally powerless to fight this, but I think that in addition to being confusing and unsettling for our daughters, Erin is setting a bad example.
What is your opinion, Abby? Do you feel (as Erin maintains steadfastly) that she is doing "nothing wrong"? -- LEGALLY POWERLESS IN NEW YORK
DEAR POWERLESS: No, I do not. Your ex-wife is setting a bad example and sending a poor message to her impressionable daughters. When the girls are older, Erin may come to regret her stance on this. Although you are legally powerless in this situation, I hope that you will continue to be a stabilizing influence in your daughters' lives, because it appears they are going to need one.