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by Abigail Van Buren

Winning Gambler Is Peeved When Her Date Wants Half

DEAR ABBY: If a gentleman asks a lady to accompany him to a casino and gives her money to gamble, is it proper for him to insist that she split her winnings with him? This happened to me recently.

Even before the $1,000 credits were finished rolling, my date called out that it was a 50/50 split. Most of my friends felt it was highly inappropriate, and that I should have been entitled to my entire jackpot.

I would have preferred being given the chance to make up my own mind about whether I wished to share my winnings. My friends also pointed out that this man makes four times the money I do and should have been more generous.

Do you think my friends were right? At first I was just a little bit irritated. Now I feel taken advantage of. -- SHORTCHANGED IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR SHORTCHANGED: Considering the fact that your date advanced the money that brought your windfall, I'd say you are 100 percent ahead of where you would be had he not been so generous. You may feel offended at his sense of entitlement, but a lady would have offered to share.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old woman who has never been married. My boyfriend, "Mickey," recently proposed and I accepted. We're planning a small wedding in about four months. It's a first marriage for both of us.

I have two small dogs whom I adore. Their names are Melody and Harmony. Mickey insists that I get rid of one of them and that I am immature for wanting to keep both.

I explained that Melody and Harmony were around before he was, and I can't give up either one. He knew about them before we began dating.

They are not outdoor pets. I keep them very clean and do not see what the problem is. Melody and Harmony both have been through basic dog training and are well-behaved.

I am disturbed that, knowing how much I care for them, he would ask such a thing. We seem unable to reach an agreement about this. I love Mickey dearly and know he loves me, too. How can we resolve this? -- BROKENHEARTED IN PEORIA, ARIZ.

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: What your fiance is suggesting is a very poor start for a marriage. If you cave in to these demands, you will never forgive yourself -- and it will only be the beginning of what he will want you to sacrifice. My advice to you is to postpone the wedding until your fiance can find enough love in his heart for the three of you, because you are a package deal.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell people that when shaking hands, not to "squeeze" a person's hand hard. I have arthritis in my hands and it hurts so bad when some people shake my hand. Just a gentle shake is sufficient. Please print this. -- SORE HAND IN PILGRIM, KY.

DEAR SORE: A person can shake your hand only if you extend it. The next time you're in a social situation and someone extends his or her hand -- smile, reach out and touch the person on the upper arm and say, "I'd shake your hand, but I can't because I have arthritis."

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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