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by Abigail Van Buren

Mother Fears for Baby's Safety in Grandma's Bed

DEAR ABBY: I had a baby girl seven weeks ago. Her name is "Madison." My mother-in-law is here visiting from another country to help me. My problem is she insists on taking Madison into her bed with her at night so I can sleep.

I prefer that our daughter sleep in her bassinet, because my mother-in-law weighs between 350 and 375 pounds, and I'm afraid she could accidentally roll over on the baby. When I asked her the other night to please use the bassinet, she waved her hand at me in a very disrespectful gesture, and then stomped into her room with Madison.

I told my husband to tell her that I wanted my daughter in the bassinet, and she told him to tell me to come in and get her.

Am I being ridiculous to be afraid? I never have Madison in my bed, because I'm afraid of rolling over on her. -- SCARED NEW MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR SCARED: You are not ridiculous; you are a conscientious new mother, and your concerns are valid. Stick to your guns, and if it means getting less help from your mother-in-law -- so be it. And stop asking your husband to intercede for you. This is between you and your mother-in-law. If she waves her hand at you again, wave this item back at her and hand her her plane ticket home.