DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a psychologist for three years about anxiety and the trauma of my parents' divorce. Every session has been about how school is and whatnot. About a year ago, I had my first real relationship. We are still involved.
In a recent session, my psychologist asked me how my sex life is. Mind you, I'm only 18. I felt very embarrassed and told him it was none of his business.
Was this appropriate, or do you think he was coming on to me? I look back and realize the position I was in if he was making advances. There is no receptionist in the office -- only he and I in the whole place. I'm concerned about going back. Can you give me some insight? -- CONCERNED IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR CONCERNED: Considering the fact that you have been in an exclusive relationship for about a year, I'd say the question was legitimate. After three years of therapy, I would assume that by now you had established enough trust to confide just about anything.
Your therapist needs to know that you felt his question was out of line and made you uncomfortable. So, consider telling him that you might feel more at ease if he referred you to a female therapist. Also, your sessions should have gone far beyond making small talk about "school and whatnot."
DEAR ABBY: Some friends and I gather for dinner and fellowship about twice a month. The problem is, one woman is a very finicky eater, and she turns up her nose when something is served and makes comments like, "That doesn't even look good -- what's in it?" The one we have heard all too often is, "That doesn't even sound good."
Most of the time we try to please her by preparing something she likes, like hot dogs or fried chicken. Frankly, I'm sick of it. Would it be rude to prepare something scrumptious like coconut shrimp with orange sauce knowing that she won't eat it, but everyone else will, and tell her there are hot dogs in the fridge and buns in the breadbox and to just help herself? -- HAD IT IN NASHVILLE
DEAR HAD IT: No more rude than what she's doing to you. The alternative would be to tell her in advance what you will be serving so she can opt out or bring her own food if she chooses.
P.S. What's your address? If I'm in the neighborhood, I'd love to sample the cuisine.
DEAR ABBY: Our son and his wife keep a cold beer in the refrigerator for their 8-month-old baby. They routinely give him "sips." To me, this is abuse and a danger to our grandson. To add to my dismay, there is alcoholism on both sides of the family.
They are determined not to listen to me. Also, they are both heavy drinkers, so there could be some denial here. What more can be done? Any suggestions? -- WORRIED GRANDMA
DEAR WORRIED GRANDMA: Since you have spoken to your son and daughter-in-law and they have chosen to ignore your legitimate concerns, report them to child protective services. Feeding alcohol to small children can create dependency and result in lifelong problems.
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