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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: Today is Memorial Day, and I am again asking for your help in encouraging your readers to join in the National Moment of Remembrance.

All Americans, wherever they are at 3 p.m. local time, are asked to pause for a moment of reflection on Memorial Day to honor those who have died for our country.

The National Moment of Remembrance is not a ceremony. It does not replace traditional Memorial Day events. It's an act of conscience and heart, respect and appreciation. It can be a simple gesture -- such as placing your hand over your heart or ringing a bell.

This year, the White House Commission on Remembrance, with the support of the National Association for Music Education, Bugles Across America and the Getzen Instrument Co., are inviting trumpet players across the country to play "Taps" at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day for the Moment's "Echoes of Remembrance" throughout America. (Visit www.remember.gov for more information.)

The goal is to put "memorial" back into Memorial Day, because a Gallup poll indicated that only 28 percent of American citizens realize the true meaning of this holiday. -- CARMELLA LA SPADA, DIRECTOR, WHITE HOUSE COMMISSION ON REMEMBRANCE

DEAR CARMELLA: I'm pleased to pass along your message.

Readers, since our nation was founded, almost 2 million men and women have given their lives to defend the principles for which our country stands. On this day, of all days, their noble sacrifices should be remembered and acknowledged. Please join me at 3 p.m. in giving them the heartfelt tribute they deserve.

DEAR ABBY: I am happily married; my husband, "Jim," would do anything for me.

There is only one problem. I think I am insane. I have no valid reason to think he's cheating on me and he assures me he's not, but I make up scenarios in my head. They escalate to the point where I accuse him, and he looks at me like I'm nuts. He asks why I would think he cheats and swears that he'd never do that to me.

An example: Today we went out to eat with his family. His sister brought a friend along. She introduced her to all of us. I was introduced as Jim's wife, of course.

Jim and I met his sister's friend at the same time. They didn't talk to each other or even look at each other all day. Jim held my hand, hugged me, and was as loving as always.

All the while, I was cooking up ideas in my head like: Maybe he goes over to his sister's house and sees her, and they're not talking to each other because they don't want me to get suspicious.

I have never been cheated on in my life by any man, yet I have been this way in all my serious relationships.

I am in my early 20s. I have a 5-year-old son, a husband I love, and yet I can't help accusing him of cheating. Even when he shaves, I think he's doing it for someone else.

Can you advise me what to do? -- POSSIBLY INSANE IN MISSOURI

DEAR POSSIBLY INSANE: My goodness. You certainly have an active fantasy life -- and all of it negative. Could you be watching too many soap operas? Did your father cheat on your mother? Whatever is going on, your thinking is self-defeating.

Since you know rationally that your problem is all in your head, the quickest way to figure out what's going on in there would be to ask your physician for a referral to a qualified psychotherapist. Please don't put it off, or your worst fears could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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