DEAR ABBY: I am happily married; my husband, "Jim," would do anything for me.
There is only one problem. I think I am insane. I have no valid reason to think he's cheating on me and he assures me he's not, but I make up scenarios in my head. They escalate to the point where I accuse him, and he looks at me like I'm nuts. He asks why I would think he cheats and swears that he'd never do that to me.
An example: Today we went out to eat with his family. His sister brought a friend along. She introduced her to all of us. I was introduced as Jim's wife, of course.
Jim and I met his sister's friend at the same time. They didn't talk to each other or even look at each other all day. Jim held my hand, hugged me, and was as loving as always.
All the while, I was cooking up ideas in my head like: Maybe he goes over to his sister's house and sees her, and they're not talking to each other because they don't want me to get suspicious.
I have never been cheated on in my life by any man, yet I have been this way in all my serious relationships.
I am in my early 20s. I have a 5-year-old son, a husband I love, and yet I can't help accusing him of cheating. Even when he shaves, I think he's doing it for someone else.
Can you advise me what to do? -- POSSIBLY INSANE IN MISSOURI
DEAR POSSIBLY INSANE: My goodness. You certainly have an active fantasy life -- and all of it negative. Could you be watching too many soap operas? Did your father cheat on your mother? Whatever is going on, your thinking is self-defeating.
Since you know rationally that your problem is all in your head, the quickest way to figure out what's going on in there would be to ask your physician for a referral to a qualified psychotherapist. Please don't put it off, or your worst fears could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.