DEAR ABBY: "Sonia" and I have been married 10 years and have two young sons. Our marriage has been rocky for the last few years. Six months ago, I told her we had to get counseling -- which we did. After the second session she refused to go back. I suspect she realized that our counselor knew she was lying.
Sonia doesn't think I deserve a sex life. She picks arguments with me, and when I walk away she berates me. She seems to enjoy fighting in front of the children. She threatens me in front of them that she's going to "take everything," and I'll be left with nothing. I promise my boys repeatedly that I will never leave them.
Sonia has a part-time job. She refuses to work full time because if we split up, she "wouldn't get as much child support." Last week she told me the only reason she married me was because I made good money. Now I'm unable to work because of a back injury, and Sonia complains my disability check isn't enough to maintain the lifestyle she deserves.
Abby, I pay all the bills. I do most of the cooking and cleaning. My kids mean everything to me. I am not leaving my home, but living with Sonia is becoming more difficult by the day. Please give me some advice. -- TROUBLED HUSBAND IN MAINE
DEAR TROUBLED HUSBAND: You are married to a verbal abuser, a person with no regard for the emotional security and well-being of your children or for your feelings. It is now time to consider how destructive this kind of atmosphere is for the children. Since counseling hasn't worked, consult an attorney and thoroughly explore your options. However, before you do, carefully document exactly what your wife is doing and saying. Be sure to include dates and times. It will strengthen your case.