DEAR ABBY: I'm a middle-aged woman who is finishing college. I have never had much of a personal life because my mother embarrasses me in front of the gentlemen I date.
I now have the opportunity to move to another town where my mentally challenged son is in a group home. For the first time in our lives we can be together as our own little family unit.
Mother is now talking about moving herself and my sister to the same town. I don't have a life because of her, and now I never will. What should I do? -- SMOTHERED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR SMOTHERED: You're an adult. It's time to "un-mother" yourself. Make the move, form your family unit, make friends and a life of your own. If your mother is determined to make the move, you can't prevent it. But no law says you have to introduce her to the men you date or include her in your social life if she embarrasses you in front of others. That's her attempt to control you -- and you can remedy that by "flying the coop" emotionally as well as physically. If you feel unable to loosen the family tie, then I recommend counseling.