DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away four years ago. About two years ago, a dear friend, "Hugh," lost his wife. Hugh and I went on two dates and hit it off. He told me he loved me and always had. I have a deep affection for him. Nine months after his wife passed away, we moved in together and have been living together ever since.
Hugh and I are happy, but I would like to be married. At first, he asked me to give him time to deal with his loss. A year ago, he confessed that he had made a deathbed promise to his late wife that he would not marry again. He wants to see her in the afterlife.
Christianity says there is no marriage in heaven. Even though we may see loved ones there, we wouldn't be married. Hugh says he's working on getting past this, but I am beginning to think he may never let go of the baggage he's carrying.
I want a life with Hugh. I am trying to be patient, but I feel he has let me down. Have you any advice for a forlorn person? -- GROWING IMPATIENT IN RICHMOND
DEAR GROWING: Hugh should have leveled with you from the beginning. Had he done so, you would have been better informed before setting up housekeeping with him. As it stands, he is enjoying all the benefits of marriage without any of the responsibilities, and that is unfair to you.
If it's marriage you want, be prepared to move out. Hugh has some important decisions to make -- and he may not make them until he feels your absence.