DEAR ABBY: While I was still married, I began dating "Alvin," a man I met through work. I then divorced my husband -- the marriage wasn't good anyway -- and moved in with Alvin. It meant giving up most of my friends and also my lifestyle.
Alvin gets mad if I wear something he thinks is "too tight" or "too revealing," He goes wherever he wants whenever he wants, but he gets upset if I even visit my parents. He is nasty to one of my children, and I feel like I'm constantly defending my child.
To make a long story short, our lease is up in a few weeks, and Alvin's been hinting that he and I will be moving separately.
I have a chance to rent a wonderful apartment, and I am starting to think I should take it no matter what happens with Alvin, but I'm scared to death to be on my own.
Should I cut my losses and move on with my children? I hate to say this, but I think I still love Alvin and the security he provides.
I have no clue what to do, but I do know I am afraid. -- NEVER BEEN ON MY OWN
DEAR NEVER: The security he provides? It sounds more like "maximum security" to me. You are living with a man who is controlling, abusive to your child and hinting that he's through with you. You may be afraid, but it's time to move out and move on. It's better for everyone's sake. You'll find emotional support if you look for it. Join Parents Without Partners (800-637-7974 or www.parentswithoutpartners.org) or join the YWCA. Emotional support is available if you make up your mind to reach out for it.