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by Abigail Van Buren

Parents Grapple With Promise to Let Daughter Get Pierced

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married in August. My best friend, "Judy," is my maid of honor. My problem is she expects me to invite her fiance, "Joe," to the wedding.

While I love Judy dearly, I do not care for her fiance. When they are together, they keep to themselves and barely interact with other people.

I'm afraid if I invite Joe to my wedding, she'll spend most of her time with him. He has never done anything to make me dislike him, but I've never had a good feeling about him since the day I met him. I want to keep my friend happy, but I also want to have the wedding of my dreams. I'm worried if I invite Joe it will put a damper on my day, and if I don't invite him, Judy will be hurt. Is it OK not to invite him? -- BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: No, it's not OK. To exclude your friend's fiance would be selfish and a breach of etiquette. They are officially a couple, and besides, on your wedding day you will be so busy with your guests and your new husband that you won't have time to dwell on the amount of attention you'll be receiving from your maid of honor.