DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has posted his profile on a dating Web site in the hope of finding some new friends. I am frequently out of town on business, and he has decided that he would like to converse with "artsy" people during the week while I am away. He claims this Web site is the only way to meet like-minded people.
While I don't mind his wanting to meet people, I feel that using a dating Web site is inappropriate. I read his profile; in it he indicates that he is "single." (He promises he will tell the woman he meets that he is not single "when and if the topic comes up.")
I think it's wrong to meet people based on a lie. He swears he would never cheat on me. How can I convince him that this is a form of cheating and that it's disrespectful to me? -- FRUSTRATED IN NEW YORK
DEAR FRUSTRATED: If you can't see that your boyfriend is "fishing," then you are angling for trouble. Since he has shown that he is willing to misrepresent himself to the women he meets on the Web site, what makes you think he would hesitate to lie to you? If I were you, I'd find another boyfriend. This one is setting you up for a whale of a heartbreak.
DEAR ABBY: A year ago, my stepdaughter got married and asked my daughter to be in her wedding. The wedding was in North Carolina and we live in Pennsylvania. Since my daughter couldn't travel there to be fitted for her gown, it was shipped to us. We asked if we could go to a national chain store and get the same gown here to make sure the size was right. The bride refused.
When the gown arrived, it was the wrong size. We had to pay for the extensive alterations, as well as the gown.
Now my other stepdaughter is getting married, and she wants my daughter in her wedding. If the gown she selects doesn't fit, would it be wrong to ask that the alterations be paid for by the bride? She knows the trouble we had with the last gown, but insists on picking out the gown at a store in her area. Help! -- RE-FIT TO BE TIED
DEAR RE-FIT: You're all family. As long as the dress is identical, it shouldn't matter where the garment is purchased. However, if she insists on ordering a gown from a store in her area, she should be prepared to pay for the alterations.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I won seats at two dinner parties that were auctioned off by our church. Last night we attended the first one, and I brought a small housewarming gift because our hosts had recently moved into a new home.
The second dinner party is coming up soon, and we are wondering if we should bring a small hostess gift even though we paid for the dinner. The church received all the money from the auction. Our hosts are donating the food, labor, and the use of their home.
Our instincts say we should bring a gift because it seems like the polite thing to do, but my husband and I are not sure. -- YOUNG AND UNSURE ABOUT ETIQUETTE
DEAR UNSURE: You may be young, but your instincts are correct. To bring a small hostess gift with you would be a lovely, thoughtful gesture. Bon appetit!
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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