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by Abigail Van Buren

Daughter Refuses to Play Part in Mom's Reconciliation Drama

DEAR ABBY: My niece, "Debra," had her breasts enlarged before she was even 20, and she dresses to draw attention to them. She's so proud that she pushes them out even further, which makes her posture appear abnormal.

We are modest people, and we felt especially uncomfortable last summer at a family beach party where she pranced around in a thong!

Now we have a messy situation. Debra has accused a male family member of behaving inappropriately toward her. He denies ever thinking "that way" about her, but admits he couldn't help looking at her breasts "because they were on display all the time."

My sister, Debra's mother, refuses to accept that her daughter is in any way responsible for this mess, and says the man involved is completely at fault. I blame Debra.

Is it fair for a girl to dress seductively and then accuse a male family member of behaving inappropriately? -- MODEST IN COLORADO

DEAR MODEST: Let's stop assigning blame and assess what's really happening. For years, Debra probably felt something was lacking. Since she has had her enhancement surgery, it appears she has been overcompensating. The episode with the thong bikini at the family beach party is an example of a girl who once felt invisible and is now flaunting her assets.

However, when someone prominently puts something on display, it's unrealistic to expect viewers to wear blinders or look away. Debra can't have it both ways.