DEAR ABBY: I turned 18 last year. When I started college, I moved in with my grandma on my father's side. My parents were furious. They said I moved out because "Gram" doesn't give me rules or chores.
I moved in with Gram because she doesn't see, hear, drive or even move well anymore. I drive her wherever she needs to go. My parents refuse to believe that I moved out to help Gram. It has reached the point that my parents no longer speak to her -- and I no longer speak to my parents.
It was not my goal to make waves in the family. What can I do to fix the problems I've caused? And how can I get everyone on speaking terms again? Please help. -- BIG PROBLEM IN A LITTLE TOWN
DEAR BIG PROBLEM: You appear to be the daughter of very controlling parents. At 18, you are old enough to decide where you want to live, and the arrangement you have made appears to be mutually beneficial.
Being a companion to an elderly person in failing health is a heavy responsibility and certainly isn't chore-free. (Could it be that your parents miss your free labor at their house?) It is not your responsibility to "get everyone on speaking terms again." From my perspective, you not only deserve a pat on the back but also a thank-you for taking care of your grandmother.