What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Readers Offer Ways to Give New Life to Old Neckties
DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter from the lady asking how to recycle her late husband's neckties. My daughter is a 16-year-old honor student who teaches Sunday school and volunteers at our children's hospital. She wears them as belts. -- PROUD MOM, CORPUS CHRISTI, TEXAS
DEAR PROUD MOM: Your daughter is an original thinker. When I printed that letter, I had no idea there were so many uses for old neckties. Hundreds of suggestions poured in! Read on for a sample:
"I have a friend who made her prom dress completely out of men's ties she bought from Goodwill. They were sewn together vertically. It was really cool." -- JOY IN IRVINE, CALIF.
"She should cut the wide ends 18 inches to 20 inches long and sew them together at the long edges to make a colorful apron. The tapers will give it a nice flair, and the ends can be used for the waistband at the top and the strings at the back." -- CLARENCE B., CLEMSON, S.C.
"Two ladies in our church, St. Christopher Episcopal in League City, Texas, gathered old ties from the parish and made them into beautiful altar cloths for use during Father's Day services." -- O.H. STELTER JR., HOUSTON
"Old ties can be woven into beautiful, one-of-a-kind area rugs or wall hangings. Incorporated into clothing, they can become wearable art." -- JEANNE S., SOUTHERN SHORES, N.C.
"My aunt owned a gorgeous mandarin-style jacket, which she informed me was made entirely from old silk neckties. They were laid side by side, sewn together, then finished off with embroidery overstitching." -- DEBE, WILLOW GLEN, CALIF.
"She should use them to make a quilted Christmas wreath. It will become a family heirloom." -- GINI M., OSHKOSH, WIS.
"One of the most precious gifts I ever received was a Christmas stocking made for my 6-month-old daughter when her grandfather died. A very special cousin made it from some of his ties for her first Christmas. It's a family treasure." -- SHARON IN NEWBERRY PARK, CALIF.
"Here's an idea: With that many ties, she's bound to have a picture of Grandpa wearing some of them. Why not mount a picture of Grandpa wearing the tie in a frame along with the tie? It would make a wonderful keepsake." -- DAYNA IN LONGVIEW, TEXAS
"Discarded neckties can be used to make pot holders, table runners, teddy bears, pocketbooks, tote bags and more." -- HENNIE C., SPARTANBURG, S.C.
"How about using them to make Christmas tree skirts? Stitch them together in a circle with the points facing outward." -- CAROL P., SPARTANBURG, S.C.
"I use my husband's cast-off ties to make cases for my jewelry. Working with the wide ends, I cut them in 3-inch, 4-inch and 5-inch lengths and stitch them to form pouches. Then I fold the triangle tip down like the flap on an envelope and put a snap on the other side. Voila!" -- ANNA MARIA S., SILVER SPRING, MD.
DEAR ANNA MARIA AND THE HUNDREDS OF WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO WROTE TO OFFER IDEAS: The dear lady who wrote asking for ideas is sure to be overwhelmed with your clever uses for ties. (I certainly was.) And if she isn't handy with a needle and thread, she can sell them on eBay or donate them to a thrift shop, a homeless shelter or college theater department.
LET THE BUYER BEWARE WHEN CHOOSING CREDIT COUNSELING
DEAR ABBY: I read your sound advice to "Addicted to Spending," the woman who racked up thousands of dollars in credit card debt. She said she couldn't sleep at night for fear her husband would divorce her when he found out. You were right that a credit counseling agency can provide valuable assistance, but she needs to be careful which one she selects.
The Internal Revenue Service oversees many credit counseling agencies because they are tax-exempt. We have received an increasing number of complaints that some of these agencies charge high fees, offer poor repayment plans, and provide little in the way of education and counseling.
We have stepped up our audits of credit counseling agencies and, where warranted, will revoke their tax exemption.
In addition, we have issued a consumer alert with the Federal Trade Commission and state regulators, warning consumers to check carefully before signing up with a particular program. A few tips:
(1) Beware of high fees or "voluntary" contributions.
(2) Carefully read any written statements before you sign, and make sure your creditors will work with the agency you want.
(3) Watch carefully the claims made in TV ads. -- MARK W. EVERSON, COMMISSIONER OF THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE
DEAR COMMISSIONER EVERSON: I know my tax dollars are being well spent when the highest collection officer in the land reaches out to help people with money troubles. Everyone has heard the phrase, "Let the buyer beware." ("Caveat emptor.") However, it is especially discouraging to think that people who are vulnerable and trying to move their lives in a positive direction would be victimized by predators.
No doubt many readers will thank you for the warning. (Readers, you can find the IRS commissioner's alert by visiting the Web site: www.irs.gov/newsroom.)
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for more than 20 years. My wife and I have been friends with a certain couple, "Claude and Maude," for 15 years. On New Year's Eve we all went out to dinner and a few drinks. I was the designated driver, so I did not drink. When we returned home, all three, my wife, Claude and Maude, proceeded to get trashed to the max.
Maude got sick and passed out; my wife went to bed. Claude and I sat up and watched the ball drop and a couple of other programs. I fell asleep about 1:30 a.m. and assumed that Claude would, too. Around 2:00 a.m., I got out of my chair and walked to my bedroom. Claude was sitting on the bed next to my wife, putting his pants on. My wife was passed out, so I don't know what happened. It has bothered me so much since then that I can't sleep and don't know what to do. If ever there was a reason for me to become violent, that was it, but I kept my cool.
The next morning, my wife could remember nothing at all. What do you think I should do? -- OUTRAGED IN HOLLYWOOD, MD
DEAR OUTRAGED: In view of the fact that a 15-year friendship is at stake, talk to Claude. It's possible that he was so loaded that he didn't know where he was, and nothing happened.
The best advice I can offer now is that Claude, Maude and your wife should all do something about their drinking. Let this serve as a wake-up call.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Girl Searches for Way to Stop Best Friend From Smoking Pot
DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Bette," is one of the nicest, smartest teens you'll ever meet. I enjoy her company, we get along great, and we have a lot in common. She's also my role model, since I'm two years younger than she is. (I skipped a couple of grades.)
Recently, Bette has been smoking weed and encouraging me to try it. I am very against smoking. I'm afraid Bette might be doing the wrong thing. She says it's OK because she does it only a little bit.
How can I persuade her to stop? Should I even try? Will I be ruining a great friendship? -- NEEDS HELP IN GEORGIA
DEAR NEEDS HELP: You appear to be more mature than your older friend. Not only is pot smoking generally unhealthy, it impairs your judgment. Marijuana can affect memory and the choices smokers make while under the influence. It is also illegal, with all that implies.
It is important that you understand that people change as they mature -- or fail to mature. If Bette continues on this path, she may eventually begin spending more time with other kids who smoke pot. It could affect her grades and her participation in sports and other interests. You may have less and less in common. So start developing friendships with other students whose interests and goals are similar to yours and continue moving forward on your own wholesome path.
By all means, try to persuade Bette to stop; as her friend, it is the right thing to do. But she is ultimately responsible for her own behavior -- or misbehavior -- and you have to protect your own future.
DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from a 13-year-old girl whose father is deployed in the Middle East. She was worried about her mother's depression. You wisely suggested that the daughter seek assistance from a trusted adult who knows her mother and can encourage her to talk to a doctor. I would like to offer some additional suggestions:
The mother's primary-care manager through her health-care provider is a good starting point for assistance. She can also find out if there is a family advocacy program available at their military base. These programs offer support groups for spouses and children.
This child and her mother are probably eligible for TRICARE, the Defense Department's health-care program for military personnel, their families and retirees. TRICARE offers a health services and support contractor to manage the family's health benefits. It offers in-person or telephone counseling and online assistance. The mother can visit www.tricare.osd.mil and request customer service using one of the toll-free numbers.
Americans must do their part to support those who are sacrificing so much in defense of our freedoms. -- JUDY BLACK, VICE PRESIDENT, TRIWEST HEALTH CARE ALLIANCE, PHOENIX DEAR JUDY: Amen to that! And thank you for offering this valuable information to the spouses of our military personnel.
DEAR ABBY: I am 21 years old and have been thin all my life. But for the past year, I have been getting up during the night and eating. Sometimes the next morning I don't even know what I ate the night before!
I have also noticed that I am gaining weight. Please help. -- NOCTURNAL EATER
DEAR NOCTURNAL: Discuss this with your doctor. If you're doing this while not fully awake, it may be a symptom of a sleep disorder.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)