DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Victoria," is 20. She attends college and is engaged to a 27-year-old man I'll call Albert. They have been engaged for about a year and have lived together for two. They plan to be married in the fall of 2005.
Victoria and Albert think I should pay him for her rent and other expenses for the two years she has been living with him. It adds up to about $8,000. I think that since Victoria is living with him, Albert should be the provider. My daughter is an adult, and I know I am not obligated to support her. But I want to do the right thing. Frankly, I do not approve of their living arrangement.
Neither of them is speaking to me because I haven't given them the money. Should I pay for something I don't agree with? -- CONFUSED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CONFUSED: May I be frank? I have wracked my brain trying to come up with one single reason why you should -- and I can't come up with even one. And if your daughter's fiance were much of a man, he wouldn't ask you to. Please don't submit to blackmail. If you do, it will be only the beginning.