DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Graham," and I were married for 11 years. From the beginning, the relationship with his parents was rocky. During the last five years of our marriage, we hardly spoke to Graham's family at all -- his preference.
Graham died last year, and ever since the funeral his parents have wanted to have a close relationship with me. I am having a hard time with it, since we had no relationship before my husband died. I have children, and I think his parents believe that they need to be part of their grandchildren's lives, but what are my obligations toward them? -- FRUSTRATED AND ALONE IN CLOVIS, N.M.
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your children are the only link to their son that Graham's parents have. I'm sure they regret their estrangement from your family more than words can say. Please respect that you are united in grief over the untimely death of your husband. Treat his parents kindly, encourage their participation in their grandchildren's lives, and try to find it in your heart to forgive them. If that's possible, you will all be the richer for it.