DEAR ABBY: My beautiful wife, "Doreen," turned 41 a couple of months ago. Since then she has had extra piercings in her ears and has taken to wearing thumb rings, toe rings and ankle bracelets. Yesterday she pierced her navel. I am embarrassed for her. We have a 13-year-old daughter who is also embarrassed for her. How do I tell Doreen she looks silly? -- NOT SO HIP IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR NOT SO HIP: Your wife's fetish brings new meaning to the term "heavy metal." It shouldn't be necessary to give her a lecture. Just walk in carrying a powerful magnet. That should send a message.