DEAR ABBY: Our 31-year-old son is being married soon in the Midwest. We would like to know what our financial responsibilities are -- if any -- regarding the costs of the wedding, in light of the following:
1. Our travel expenses will be about $1,500, plus an additional $500 for hotel and food.
2. Although 100 guests are invited, we do not know them, as they are all friends and relatives of the bride and her parents.
3. We are giving our son and his bride a gift of $1,000.
4. We have no say in the planning of the wedding.
We want to do what is right, but we don't want to pay unless tradition or etiquette demands it. Please advise. -- PUZZLED PARENTS IN OREGON
DEAR PUZZLED PARENTS: Although it is not obligatory, it is customary for the groom's parents to host the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. The guests should include the bridal party, the bride's parents, the fiances and/or live-in companions of the bridesmaids and ushers, and the clergy who will officiate. The bride's mother can help you select an appropriate restaurant.