DEAR ABBY: My wedding is scheduled for the fall of next year. My parents are paying for the whole thing. My problem is my grandmother. She has never shown any interest in me and doesn't know me from a hole in the wall. She has been verbally abusive to my father throughout his entire life. She even told him once that he was a "mistake" and she didn't even want to have him.
I do not want this woman at my wedding, but I know my father wants her there. My dad feels that since I am her only granddaughter, she should be present. I have nothing but anger toward her because of the way she has treated my father and her indifference toward me.
Who should decide whether the mean old bag will attend? Since my parents are paying, does my father get the final say? Oh, did I mention that my mother does not want Granny there, either? How should this be handled? -- HATES GRANNY IN MARYLAND
DEAR H.G.: My advice is to be a lady and be gracious. Your father has his reasons for wanting his mother to come to the wedding. Please find it in your heart to grant his wish without giving him further heartburn. On your wedding day, you will be so busy with your wedding party and your husband, you'll hardly even know the woman is there.