Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Infant's Birthday Bash Is Too Much, Too Soon

DEAR ABBY: I am pregnant with my first baby. For some reason, almost every woman I speak to feels the need to tell me about the hell I am about to endure. Apparently I will never spend another minute alone with my husband. My car will be ruined, and my house will be a permanent disaster. Very few people tell me how wonderful it is to be a mom.

I would just ask that when a woman is expecting, please don't assume it's a license to complain about how terrible it was when your children were young. My husband and I planned this pregnancy, but if I had heard half the horror stories I've heard in the past several months, I probably would have taken a different route. -- MOM-TO-BE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MOM-TO-BE: If parenthood didn't have many rewards, do you think that these doom-spreaders would have had more than one child? While it's only logical that having children is a life-changing experience, it is also an individual process. For some people the adjustment may be painful. However, for many others, the changes are welcome and the joys are bountiful. Think positive and tune the naysayers out.