DEAR ABBY: My husband of 29 years, "Paul," is an "early to bed" kind of guy. He goes to bed around 9 p.m., and the kids are still up. My problem is, I don't want to have sex while the kids (ages 14 and 13, both boys) are home or still awake at night. Paul doesn't understand my feelings. Is it my hang-up, or do other women feel the same way? -- EMBARRASSED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR EMBARRASSED: There are, indeed, other wives who share your feelings. Some couples solve this problem by sending "the kids" on sleepovers, or arranging intimate nights out together. You might also consider installing a large-screen TV in a room as far away from the master bedroom as possible, so that if the kids are up, they'll be otherwise occupied.
You and your husband are entitled to a life, and having private time does not necessarily equate with having sex. A lock on your bedroom door might prevent surprises, as well as a house rule that no one should enter without first knocking and asking permission.