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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am deeply in love with a man who is handsome, smart and loving. We are engaged and happy together. The problem? We met on the Internet.

Abby, he thinks I am 26, but I'm not. Everything I've said to him has been a lie. I am really 12. I have tried to tell him the truth, but he doesn't believe me or thinks I'm joking. I try to break up with him, but we both can't say goodbye forever. I am 100 percent sure it's love.

He is planning to visit me in January. He says we will get married and have a nice future together. No one knows about this, so I need your help. What do I do next? How do I let go? -- LOST IN LOVE IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR LOST IN LOVE: You have been lying on the Internet. What makes you think that he hasn't been lying, too? Has it occurred to you that this man who "won't let go" could be a child molester in his 40s or 50s? What do you plan to do when he shows up? If you become further involved, he could be arrested!

For your safety, I urge you to tell your parents what has been going on. You have gotten yourself in over your head, and you may need more adult intervention than this columnist to get you out of the pit you have dug for yourself. Please talk to your parents. TODAY!

DEAR ABBY: I have a 14-year-old son, "Adam," whose paternal grandmother, "Bryna," is making life difficult for him. He has acne, for which he's seeing a dermatologist. He also needs braces, and I'm working on that as well.

When Adam goes to visit Grandma Bryna, he gets put-down after put-down. She "comments" about his acne and also his teeth.

I am no longer married to her son (he's deceased), and while we were married, we all got pretty much the same treatment. I don't want to sever ties with Bryna, as Adam still wants that connection with his dad. My daughter, who is older, refuses to have anything more to do with her.

When Bryna says these things to my son, she instructs him not to say anything about it to me. I don't want her to accuse him of ratting her out. I am ready to tell her not to contact us again. Should I take such a drastic step and cut off all ties with her? -- FRUSTRATED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Why not? The woman is spreading poison. If you had poison oak in your garden, wouldn't you remove it?

DEAR ABBY: Nine months ago, I went through the painful breakup of a relationship with a man I deeply loved. After months of grieving, I have met someone else. "Grant" and I hit it off on our first date. We have been seeing each other for two months and have a lot in common. He is thoughtful, respectful and attentive, and I think he could be "the one."

My problem: Grant plans to retire from work at the end of January and move out of state. He is having a beautiful home built in a small town in the South and talks about when he goes as though he plans to go alone.

I am afraid of being abandoned and hurt again. I would like to go with him, but I'm afraid if I say it so early in our relationship that I'll scare him off. Please tell me what to do. -- MOVING MADNESS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MOVING: Eight weeks of dating is too soon to ask a person to state his –- or her -- intentions. Let the relationship play out a while longer. On New Year's Eve, when you are toasting each other, tell him what your wish for 2005 would be, and cross your fingers.

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