DEAR ABBY: Some friends of ours, "Rhonda" and "Mike," planned to be married. They have two small children together. Mike is a longtime childhood friend of my husband's; we met Rhonda through Mike. Mike and Rhonda are no longer together. It was a messy breakup. They no longer speak to each other, and they even have relatives intercede in the exchange of their children so they do not have to see each other.
My husband and I gave Rhonda $100 as a down payment on the wedding dress that she just "had" to have. Mike and Rhonda both thanked us, and said not to buy a wedding gift, that the money was gift enough. Rhonda bought the dress and now plans to sell it.
My husband and I are not well-off, and we would like our money back. We feel that now the wedding has been canceled, the money should be returned. Rhonda has not offered to do it. Should we confront her and tell her that when she sells the dress that we'd like the $100 back? How should we handle this? -- WANTS OUR MONEY IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WANTS: Rather than "confront" Rhonda, remind her that when she sells the dress, you would like her to return the money. But don't hold your breath. Since your friendship was based on your longstanding friendship with Mike, she may assume that her relationship with you is history -- and not feel inclined to do so.