DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and have just started my junior year in high school. Last spring, I started dating "Rick," a guy in my class. After six weeks, he dropped me and started dating a popular girl. He never said it was over or gave me a reason for dumping me. He just stopped calling, wouldn't talk to me and wouldn't answer my phone calls. I was devastated.
Now that school has started again, I see Rick in the halls. I told him I still love him and would do anything to get back the way we were, and he was very rude. I know I need to move on, but I can't get him out of my heart. Please help. -- STUCK IN ST. LOUIS
DEAR STUCK: Part of your problem may be that you didn't have "closure" when the relationship with Rick was over. For him to have dropped you the way he did was cruel. Perhaps this will help you:
I recently attended a conference where a man approached me and stuck out his hand. He said he wanted to thank me for some advice I had given him years ago. Like you, he was having difficulty moving on after a romance had ended. At the time, I told him that he should pretend that his love object had tragically dropped dead. (It happens!) I said that although the person might still be alive, their romance WAS dead, and so were any illusions he had about the person. I also advised him that if he began to obsess again, he should remind himself out loud that he was only playing "old tapes" in his head and to change the channel.
He told me that my advice hadn't been easy to follow, but it had worked for him then and several times subsequently. (I have used the technique myself, and it worked for me.) Give it a try.