DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Danni," is 36. She was heterosexual until she spent five years in prison. Ever since her release, she has been living in a lesbian relationship with a woman named "Marty." But sometimes she comes to my house and uses my computer to visit lesbian sites, trying to find another lover.
I hate the woman Danni is with now. I try to treat Marty with respect because I love my daughter. But I am considering trying to find a spell book and casting a spell to make Danni break up with Marty.
Do you know where I could find a book with spells in it? Marty is bigger than Danni. They got into a fist fight recently, and Danni came to me covered with bruises. Please tell me what to do. I don't know ... WITCH WAY TO TURN
DEAR WITCH: Let me "spell" a few things out to you. Your daughter should not be looking for another romance until after she has ended and healed from this one. Since her current relationship has turned violent, the book you should both be reaching for isn't a spell book -– it's your local phone book. If she is injured again, the police should be called and she should be taken to a hospital and her injuries photographed. Your daughter may need to obtain a restraining order to keep her girlfriend away.
The Domestic Violence Hotline -- (800) 799-7233 -- should also be contacted. It won't be the first time it has gotten a call from a gay person. The experts there can help your daughter to formulate an escape plan.
Also, please urge your daughter to contact the nearest gay and lesbian center and inquire about counseling services. Counseling will prevent her from jumping out of "the pen" and into another violent relationship.
DEAR ABBY: A few days ago, there was a gun threat at my school. Although the students are checked every day with hand-held metal detectors, and sometimes the kind you walk through, my friends and I don't feel safe.
The hand-held scanners are used only on the fronts and sides of students –- not the backs -– and they are used only down to our knees. Security guards hold our purses, gym bags, etc. when we walk through the metal detector, and then give them back to us without looking through them.
I would like to have this changed and make sure that our school is truly safe, but I'm not sure how. Any ideas? -- FEARFUL IN KENTUCKY
DEAR FEARFUL: Speak to the administrators at your school and tell them what you have told me. If you can't bring yourself to do it, then write an anonymous note. Were I the principal of your school, and a student had spotted a hole in my security procedures that was big enough for the football team to jog through, I would certainly want to know.
DEAR ABBY: Two years ago I met a man named "Ryan." Six months into our relationship, I found out I was pregnant with my son. One of my friends finally confided to me that Ryan was living a double life –- he had been married for the last 10 years and has six children.
When Ryan went to jail on a drug charge, I told his wife about the affair and that we had a son. For some reason, she still wants to be with him. Ryan wrote me and said he still wants us to sleep together when he gets out.
Please tell me how I can get out of this. -- RYAN'S "HOPE" IN GEORGIA
DEAR "HOPE": Try this. Don't answer his letters, and if he calls, tell him any further communication should be through your lawyer, because the romance is over, but the child support is just beginning.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600